I recently rewatched the entire Lord of the Rings series with my daughter. She was not quite 8 at the time of viewing and admittedly, there was a part of me that wondered if it was poor parenting to let a kid so young watch such a violent movie. I rationalized it, though, as being a healthy example of the struggle between good and evil and, therefore, acceptable. So far its been a win. No nightmares, she hasn’t started smoking Old Toby and not a single orc has been beheaded. Even better though, she loved the movies, is now interested in the books and the whole thing proved to be an amazing bonding experience for the two of us. As we watched the 3 part series in rapid succession over 4 days, it was easier to see themes and patterns emerge.
Here’s a VERY paraphrased scene that occurs in all 3 movies:
Aragorn: (Looking from a mountain top at a sea of Orcs) “Holy crap Gandalf, how many do they have?!”
Gandalf: “Meh, its about 400,000 I think?”
Frodo: (Terrified) “DUDE? SERIOUSLY? WTF?! How many do we have?”
Gandalf: (Counting)…”17?”
Frodo: “17,000?”
Gandalf: “Ha! No, SEVENTEEN son, SEVENTEEN”
Aragorn: (Sigh) “Fuck it. Alright. Whatever. Let’s get this over with” (draws sword).
And there you have it friends. Therapeutic Stoicism, Existentialism and several other “isms” all wrapped up into one furry footed little package. Frodo and Co. have given you an example of THE way to do life:
- You will die, so go live. It is your duty to do so.
- Very likely, you will fail and if you do succeed it is mostly in the hands of fate so just go do your duty and stop worrying about the rest.
Frodo: “But Gandalf, what if doing my duty kills me?”
Gandalf: “Refer back to point number one then my dear Hobbit!”
Pay close attention to that word duty. The first definition of it in this sense could be things like your job. Your position as a parent. You role as a coach. Your spot as a leader. The second definition involves the duty to self; that duty to follow the voice inside you that wants you to be an artist or wants to travel or that part of you that says you’re not good at something but that still constantly nags at you to do it anyway. Millions of examples exist. What they both have in common is action. Action without regard for the results. Frodo and the others never thought they would win and in some ways, never really intended to because they thought it was impossible. They intended to fight and that’s basically where the line of thought stopped. There was no concern for winning and most of the time, they were almost certain they weren’t going to win but they did it anyway. Their duty was to fight and so they fought, end of story. Sure they were all probably hoping they’d win but that wasn’t the important part. The important part was doing their duty; trying even though they would likely fail. All throughout the books and movies, each one of “the good guys” knew they were facing certain death but they did what they were meant to do all the same. They let go of the results and just did their duty. I’ll add my own, possibly less cinematic, examples here as well; I feel called to be a therapist. I obviously hope very much that I’m helping people. But that last part is largely out of my control. My job is to show up each day and try. If I’ve done that, then I can rest my head easy at night. I’m also a musician. Is my band good? Probably not. But who cares, that’s not the point. The point is I feel compelled to make music, so I do. When I ask myself “did you try to help people today” I can answer yes and my duty is fulfilled. When I ask myself “did I make music” and the answer is yes, then I have fulfilled my duty.
The overall sales pitch here is to convince you to get rid of the idea of “moving the needle.” Rather than focusing on results, the point is doing what you’re meant to do and letting go of the results once you’ve done what you’re meant to do. But it doesn’t all have to be beheadings and Goblin blood and ransacking of Shires. Every now and then because you’ve done your duty and focused on on that rather than the results, a strange thing happens; you get good results. Let us not forget that Frodo and the 8 others in the Fellowship of the Ring won the battle. They focused on their duty and as a mere byproduct, they got the results they were hoping for. Imagine putting this idea into practice in your life. You stop worrying about whether you’re good or not at your job and choose instead to just do your job and as a byproduct actually start enjoying it. You stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be a good parent or a good wife and just do your duty and in the process end up living those relationship more fully. You allow yourself to create art. You stop worrying about whether or not it’s “good” and just enjoy the process and in the process get swept away by the joy it brings you. Imagine disposing of that tired old American idea of an activity only being valuable if you’re good at it or if you can make money at it! Imagine just doing what you felt like doing just because you felt like doing it! Can you imagine the freedom and enjoyment of letting go of the results of things and just doing things because you enjoy them? Well guess what; you don’t have to imagine it. You don’t even have to be a Hobbit!
Unrelated song: I guess I’m not really even trying to keep it user friendly or limited to only a song anymore. Oh well. Anyhoo, for some reason, this album helps me go to sleep. Maybe I’M the one who should see a therapist!
Unrelated book: Being and Time by Martin Heidegger
This book is widely known for being one of the most difficult around and I can attest to the truth of that idea. I’m considering a blog on Heidegger’s ideas…If I can ever figure out what the hell they are.
Brandon Peters, LPC 